However, I have to admit that I’m pretty pooped. After PT today and getting errands done, etc., my dogs are killing me!

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With Jamie away this year, I contemplated skipping the fair altogether.  However, I’ve been so busy working and taking care of the boys and our home lately, I haven’t really had a chance to go out and do something fun with Jacob (Joshua is way to young for the redneck Disneyland as Jamie refers to it).  So, as with years past, I purchased an advance ticket for the fair late last year and decided to venture out today with Jake.

Soon after we arrived, I realized what a HUGE mistake I had made deciding to visit the fair on a Saturday.  There were lines EVERYWHERE!  Certain areas were so cluttered with people, it was difficult to get through.  Kind of reminded me of Disney World during the summer months, except the fair is no where near as as clean, organized, or fun.

We arrived later in the afternoon and only had a few hours of daylight left, so I decided to start by taking Jake through the livestock tents.  Cows, rabbits, chickens, the petting zoo…  things you would think any kid would totally be into.  Not Jake, no sir.  We were in the cow tent for maybe a minute and he tells me he’s ready to go.  “Do you want to see the chickens?”  I asked.  “No”, he replies.  “Do you want to see the rabbits?”  “Nope.”  “What about feeding the llamas in the petting zoo?”  “No, I don’t wanna do that.” he tells me while furling his brow.

O…..K….?

I took him into the petting zoo area anyway and sprung the buck for a cup of carrots (clearly marked for *animal consumption only!*).  Perhaps if he saw me feeding the animals, he may want to give it try as well.  It seemed like a good strategy and after all, I am a ninja master with this parenting stuff.

Well, I had fun feeding the animals.  He basically hid behind me the entire time I worked my way around the petting zoo feeding goats and sheep.  “Do you want to feed the goat?”  “NO!”, he says peaking out from behind me.

Well that didn’t work.  But it’s okay, there’s plenty of other stuff to do.  The fair is full of all sorts of junk food and kids just adore junk food.  Even Jake, who we call picky pants for his stubborn aversion to trying new things, couldn’t possibly resist the allure of all the fried, sugary, teeth rotting, goodness that is fair food.

EPIC FAIL

During the course of the evening I had a pork shiskabob, jumbo corndog, and the classic funnel cake.  He refused to try any of those, including the corn dog which is one of the few things he eats at home.  I offered to buy him cotton candy, which he’s never tried, but he passed on that as well.  Cotton freakin’ Candy!!! A food that is just one notch below eating pure sugar.  Nope, picky pants wanted no part of it.   I kept him hydrated with lemonade, but even that required me to offer him a prize if he tried it.  He relented, tried it, liked it, and proceeded to finish it.  He didn’t leave me any… guess he was thirsty.

So by now you’re probably thinking in a VERY sarcastic tone.  Boy Joel, your fair trip sure seemed like fun.  Yes, it was kind of frustrating and felt a bit how I would imagine it is hanging out with Debbie Downer from SNL, but I never once got mad or annoyeed and actually found the entire thing rather humorous.

It wasn’t a total wash of a trip for Jake, though.  He did have fun.

The model trains. Jake was REALLY into the model train display they had in one of the exhibit halls.  Like everything else, it had a super long line which was moving VERY slowly.  The track itself is well over Jake’s eye level so I had to carry him through it.  He’s a light 36lbs at first, but after the 15 minutes it took to walk through, I was hurting.   The reason I capitalized and bolded “REALLY” is because once we exited, he was ready to go again.  I was not, but you could tell he really enjoyed watching those trains and the little city lights, so after what was probably a very long 3 minute wait for him (and conversely a very short 3 minutes for me), I picked him up and we walked back through.  Thankfully, this time there were less people and line moved through much quicker.

The cowboy hat. Jake turns five in a few weeks and to celebrate, we’re throwing him a cowboy themed birthday party with his cousin who turns four the day before.  I found him the perfect little cowboy hat to wear for his birthday and to my surprise, he liked it and actually wore it around the fair.

The Prize. But, I think my favorite part of this year’s fair trip, and the memory I will carry with me going forward came right before we left the park.  We were walking down the midway section where the carnival games were and I noticed this little fishing game for kids where you win a prize by hooking a fish.  You play until you hook something, so EVERYONE IS A WINNER!, as the sign says.  He looked kind of interested, so I asked if he wanted to play, to which he replied No, all the while staring at the game, like you would stare a freshly baked chocolate chip cooking cooling on a counter.  I figured that was it, there’s nothing left for us to do here but fight through the crowd as we move towards our exit.

And that’s when a voice called over to us.

“Hey…” he said in a very non-carnie, I don’t smoke too much, voice.  “I’ll let your son play and win a prize regardless”.  The offer was coming from the operator of the  infamous “throw darts at balloons” game.  I thought, there’s no way Jake would want to do this, and in a moment of 100% confidence that I know my son, I asked him somewhat smugly.  “Jake, do you want to play this game?”  His response:  a very low “Yeah”.

“Alright let’s do this”, I tell the guy giving him some of my hard earned cash which I seem to be freely handing out since we got out of our car.  The guy counts out 10 darts and lays them up on the counter.  These were real darts.  Like the kind with sharp pointy metal tips that will “poke your eye out”.  Jake can barely throw a baseball, let alone be expected to throw a dart through a confined space and at a specific target.  To his credit, the carnie was actually pretty nice and gave Jake some instruction on how to properly hold and throw the darts.

and HE ACTUALLY HIT AND POPPED A FEW BALLOONS!  I should also mention he hit the guy a couple of times.  The carnie was kind of funny to watch.  After the first near stick, he kept flinching back every time Jake threw a dart.  I kept thinking to myself, why doesn’t this guy just move back a little?  I moved Jake away from him a few times, but it’s like he had a strong magnet under his shirt attracted to the dart tips and he would slowly move back towards us.

I wasn’t sure what kind of liability I had should Jake injure him with a dart, so I was kind of relieved when the darts ran out and the game was over.  Jake got to bring home a “large” prize which basically means I paid 3x what this prize is worth so he could play.  It was worth it, though.  He seemed genuinely thrilled to bring home a prize he had won, a trophy if you will,  and that’s really what matters… even if the toy is stuffed with what feels like packing peanuts.

“So Jake, did you have fun today?”

“yeah”

“Are you hungry?”

“yeah”

“What do you want to eat?”

“I don’t know.”

<sigh>

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We took Jake to Magic Kingdom and Hollywood Studios for his birthday this year.  This photo was taken at Hollywood Studios, FL on 2/8/09.

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